Pink Crap
by Cosmos Senshi
Summary: What's with all the pink and red stuff around the Castle? And could it possibly have anything to do with Valentine's Day? Hilarity ensues.


When he entered the Castle that evening, Roxas had to step back outside to make sure that he had gotten the address correct and hadn't accidentally stepped into a women's lingerie shop.

The inside of the front hall was garishly decorated with an eyesore arrangement of pink, red and white frills, red heart lights strung across the ceiling and enough flowers to send an asthmatic into a coma.

So of course, the first person Roxas went to blame was Marluxia.

"What the hell's with all the pink shit?"

Marluxia looked up from his book, which curiously enough, was entitled 'Famous Shinigami.' "I honestly don't know," he shrugged and flipped a page.

"The hell you don't!" Roxas snarled.

Marluxia raised one eyebrow over the cover. "Now, really, there's no need to get so testy. I did not put up the abominations you are referring to. They clash with my hair and scythe. I can't even leave my room thanks to those monstrosities for fear of being seen next to them."

Which made a lot of sense . . . if you were Marluxia.

So next Roxas went to see Larxene. It wasn't her style at all, and really, he had no reason to blame her, but . . . she was a girl. And girls like pink. Right?

"Larxene!!" Roxas barged into her rooms, pushing open the doors.

And promptly backed right out.

Roxas had forgotten one little detail. Larxene and Namine were currently, ahem going out. Which meant dates, movies, birthdays, and so on. And sex. That last little detail was why Roxas now sporting a brilliantly scarlet blush that clashed with the decorations.

"_What_," hissed Larxene from the doorway, already in a bathrobe (although she wasn't opening the door anymore than the small crack it took to pop her head out) "Possibly could you need that is so important as to interrupt me?"

"Errrrrrrr," Roxas shuffled his feet, afraid to meet the female Nobody's eyes. "Did you put up all the decorations?"

"No."

"Okay, thanks." The door slammed in front of his face. Roxas made a mental note to stay away from Larxene for the next millennium or so.

Who else could it be? Roxas quickly ran through the castle occupants in his mind. Luxord? Nope, he was more likely to transform the hall into a casino than do this kind of thing.

Xemnas? Nah, he preferred colors that made him look like a cow (or possibly a zebra).

Saix? Not without someone holding him at knife point the whole time, and he had already ruled out Larxene.

Xigbar was out, he couldn't stand pink, and likewise, Xaldin was also out (the two had suffered a traumatic experience with the color due to one of Vexen's experiments that may or may not have included unicorns and five year old girls). Vexen himself was out because the same experiment also had adverse effects on him.

Lexaeus . . . Roxas didn't want to even consider the possibility that it might have been Lexaeus, due to the massive therapy he would need afterwards. Which left Zexion, whose sense of smell would have been overpowered in two seconds by the large amount of flowers.

Wait . . . was he missing someone?

Roxas quickly counted through the Organization again. He groaned

------

Axel looked up from where he was blowing up a large pink balloon. He grinned. "Glad you could join us, Roxas!"

"Have a chocolate!" Demyx offered, already stuffing his own face with a truffle.

Assuming Roxas hadn't already gone blind from the large volume of blinding neon pink and vivid red wallpapering the room, he was closing his eyes against the sudden onslaught of seeing Axel and Demyx clad in skimpy aprons.

_Only_ the aprons.

"What," Roxas started. "Could have _possibly_ induced you two to do this, aside from insanity, death, or seeing Saix in the shower with Xemnas?"

"It's Valentine's Day!" Demyx said through a mouthful of caramel.

" . . . Which means what, exactly?"

"It's supposed to be the day when you give your heart to your loved one," Axel explained. "However, being somewhat deficient in the heart department, Demyx and I did this instead! Like it?"

Roxas liked it about as much he liked migraines, one of which was swiftly sneaking up on him, and just about ready to pound him over the head like a berserker Nobody. However, he just gave a mildly pained nod.

Besides, he didn't mind the decorations too much later once Axel and Demyx showed him that they had also dressed up certain parts under their aprons.

He didn't mind those decorations at all.

------

"Number Two?" Xemnas asked, looking about the festooned hallway. "Did I miss something important?"

Xigbar couldn't answer him. He was huddled in the fetal position in the corner, crying about unicorns.


End file.
